...................
12.27.06 (10:35 pm) [edit]It's pouring rain outside... I love rain, but when there's too much rain, it becomes an enemy.
I realized I only have two days left in this house before I go to my grandparents' place on the 31st, then on to Langkawi the next day. I planned to clear all my stuff since no one's gonna use my bedroom till we move to a new house.
(sigh) The internet connection is pretty slow due to the rain...
Miscellaneous
12.27.06 (5:10 pm) [edit]King tide + heavy rain = flash flood
Well, that was what happened to Miri yesterday. Flash floods in just few minutes.
I'm still having rashes though it's the third day already. (sigh)
My brother bought a diary for each of us...so now I'm wondering whether I would continue blogging cos it would be a waste of time if I'm rewriting what I've written in my diary into my blog... So far, I've really enjoyed blogging cos it's the only place where I could write my thoughts or my 'crap' (hehe) and not be judged. I still have 3 more days to think this over. (My diary entry will only begin 1st Jan)
I'm going back to school next Monday. Kinda excited about it. I'm prepared mentally and emotionally (since I'm going to be away from my family), but not physically. I still haven't prepare the necessary stuff for school. Hehehe...
I'm glad I managed to complete 90% of the documents yesterday. I'm hoping to settle this today, then post it.
Hmm...I suddenly have cravings for cakes...ok, I guess my post ends here. By the way, if I ever decide to quit blogging for good, I would certainly make my last entry a SMASHING one! =p
Just in case, I don't have time to blog, I just wanna wish all tbloggers and those who read this entry, a HAPPY NEW YEAR - YEAR 2007!!! =p
My Real First Taste Of Alcohol
12.26.06 (6:59 am) [edit]Last night (Christmas night), I had my first taste of alcohol - white wine to be exact. Had it with my friend at the Quality Hotel in KL. Initially we ordered a bottle of white wine, but it wasn't enough, so we changed to a glass. Wan't enough to get drunk though. Hehe... The taste and smell was tolerable. In fact I was impressed I could finish the whole glass, considering it's my first time. But this morning, when I showered, I noticed my whole body was covered in rashes. Scared the hell out of me! LOL! I thought I was allergic to white wine or something. Till I mentioned it to my friend, she said it's a case of 'oriental flush', maybe cos I was a first-timer. LOL! My brother also said the same thing, so I guess it's normal. Now I'm still having rashes. Hehe, hope my mum doesn't find out. =p Ok, gotta shower now to cool down this rash. LOL!
Christmas! Christmas! =p
12.24.06 (3:30 pm) [edit]Christmas is here!!! =) My dad is back! I don't know what we're going to do today, but I'm sure whatever it is, there'll be tons of fun! Hehe. It's such a dread that I have to go to KL this evening for that 'important' briefing tomorrow. I just don't understand why do they have to make it right after Christmas. Holiday spoiler...LOL!
It's Christmas Eve
12.23.06 (5:09 pm) [edit]It's Christmas Eve today!!!!!!!!! I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very excited!!!!!!!! =p Today will be a busy day for me. I'll spent the whole day at my grandparents', cooking and doing house chores. Well, it's not like we invited people over for Christmas. It just feels right you know, doing all these things. LOL! Boy, you can't imagine my excitement right now. =) I don't think I can make it for the reunion with my friends tonight. Uh-oh, I hope they don't 'kill' me. LOL! =p
Well, I can't blog long, gotta get ready. So, those reading this post, I wish you a Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas! Be with your loved ones today. =)
Yada-yada...
12.22.06 (5:21 pm) [edit]I’ve tried writing this post so many times, rewriting and rewriting… I just can’t find the right words to express how I feel right now… Since last night, my tummy feels queasy, I vomited so many times this morning, and my body feels warm right now, maybe a fever is coming. All these are caused by one piece of paper, which I have to sign; surrendering my next 4 years of life to this bull@#%!!! I remembered the moment I tried reading the documents, migraine…, read the second time, migraine intensified…read the third, fourth, fifth time, my gawd…I just felt like puking on the documents. I do not agree on some aspects of the contract, including my mom. The contract is very suspicious, confusing, not clear-cut etc. How come I felt like I’m threatened to comply with what they’re offering? And if I comply, I have to consent to them changing any details of the contract within those 4 years? Like shit I would do that?! Then what’s the whole point of signing this contract if it’s going to change anyways?????
Yesterday, I went to the Curtin University (just near my house) to enquire on the courses there. I wanted to do Bachelor of Commerce, majoring in Accounting and Finance, which takes about 3 years to complete. The marketing officer told me that with my A Levels results, I’m qualified to take up the course. Since I brought all the necessary documents, he even suggested I fill up the application form on the spot. Whoa! I was definitely tempted… I still haven’t tell my friend cos everything is still not confirm. I don’t want to create such a huge fuss over this thing, cos who knows I might just stick to this. Plus, I was sick lately, wasn’t in any condition to speak to anyone. Hehe… But if she’s reading this, I will still go to the briefing on the 26th, don’t worry. We will talk more about this when we meet ok?...
I feel like I’m experiencing a deja-vu. I get to know someone who reminds me of another person I want to forget. They’re both alike, especially in the way they talk…damn, I can’t believe I’m going to fall for this again. I’m NOT going to make the same mistake twice! Watch me.
The reunion last night was fantastic! I met another 2 of my old friends: Tze Hui and Christopher. And as usual, I was the only non-Chinese there. =) I love being in their company. And they got me hooked with Chinese songs. LOL! Sharing a ride with Chris was…awkward (in a good way)…and scary…I mean I was so nervous with the way he drives and talks on the phone at the same time, I practically was silent the whole way. LOL! But still, he brought me back safe and sound. =) There’s another gathering again this Sunday (Christmas Eve), but I’m not sure whether I can make it. Most of my friends will be back by then, plus, 2 of them are going off to West Malaysia to study. Furthermore, it could be my last time I see them… =(
I found out that my brother and I have the same dangerous urge. I just hope it won’t go to that extent. And he told me where I stand in his life. Likewise, I would do the same for him. These 6 months break wasn’t a total waste of time, I had the opportunity to bond with my brother before we go our separate ways.
[Devoice]
See, a star was born,
But doesn’t anybody notice the entire struggle I have been through,
Not a clue, Not a single s*** I go has no stumbling block, Yes that’s true,
Now, I’m not really sure of the future,
But I will take every step like a man without fear,
I chose the life I live, so I ain’t gonna blame my Mo for this,
Lookin’ to the sky, and put my hands up high,
Just to thank the Lord for lettin’ me come home and sleep on my pillow,
Even if my life is full of zero, but I will never feel low,
This is me, my life, and I, so I ain’t gonna lie. (Ha-ha)
Yea, A..
What’s been up?
I heard them say that your life has been deem today,
Don’t you worry bout what they say,
You are supposed to follow what your heart has to say,
Coz, at the end of the day, it will be you they portray,
As the light gets deem, we step forward coz the light is far away,
So, you know what you should do when you got the paper,
It’s all about makin’ a deal and goin higher,
It may be hard, but if it doesn’t kill you then it only makes you stronger,
Just make sure not even one of our family dies of hunger,
Peace, this goes out to my sis..
My brother created this lyric for me. =)
My Ramblings
12.19.06 (8:55 pm) [edit]Since I ramble a lot, might as well ramble some more, yeah? LOL! I'm really bored right now, waiting for the mail. The earliest I would receive it, according to my mum, would be late this afternoon. But whenever it is, I hope it's SOON...
"LEARN from the past, LIVE for the present, PLAN for the future" -> I came up with this last night, while I was recaping what I've experienced and learned for the past 19 years. Think I'm gonna make it my motto next year.
Some people just can't take NO for an answer... Why is that? I wonder... Are they stubborn / determine / stupid (no offence)? I have a shirt that has NO MEANS NO splattered on it. That would be quite a statement, ain't it? LOL!
Yesterday, I was listening to Pop Latino; today I'm listening to Dance music...hmm...I like...(head swaying) It's amazing how different kinds of music can stir some sort of feelings in you. Like making you lose control or something like that. Get what I mean? LOL!
Can't wait for tomorrow...
10 more days left...
I realised getting to understand _ _ _ for the past months have made me an expert (in my opinion) in the concept of prey -> seduce -> kill -> leave.
Can one really define the word "open-minded"? Some people define "open-minded" as talking about sex freely or openly. Lemme check the dic, oops, I mean dictionary, LOL... Okay, here it says, the "accessibility to new ideas, unprejudiced or undecided state" - quoted from the sixth edition of The Little Oxford Dictionary. If I were to be judged whether I'm open-minded or not in terms of sexual matters, then I'm not. I have my principles to uphold on when and with whom I want to have sex with. But if you want to discuss about it, I'm fine with it. In my opinion, one can never be totally "open-minded" cos that would be like having no principles in life, a drifter, a free thinker (?)... Well, at least that's what I think and I'm not judging anyone in particular.
Which reminds me of a 'story' of a girl and a boy...
News and MORE News...Hehe...
12.19.06 (12:19 am) [edit]I've received an incredible news!! This Thursday, there'll be another reunion with the same old friends and some extra old friends. LOL! I'm so excited, I just can't contain my excitement right now...LOL! My friend offered to pick me up and send me back since he lives nearby. Good also, then I won't have to trouble my mum.
Another good news: My brother will be back this evening. (sigh) Yesterday, I was counting how many days left till I go back to a student life again, and guess what, I have only 11 days left!! My gawd! How time flies... Which also means that I won't be going online as often as now. I'm sure there'll be lots of assignments to complete. I think that's good too...hmm...
Man, listening to Pop Latino makes me nostalgic...(sigh)... Anyways, I'm still waiting for those documents. I called to ask about my documents and the person said he's sending another copy. Hmm...I'm too tired to be mad right now, so I'll just leave it. Waiting is a very tiring to do...I've been waiting for a week already, now I have to wait for a few more days...(sigh) Boy, I'm sooo grounded right now...LOL!
This is something my mum let slip. Hehe... There might (but high chances will happen) be a going-away party for me (excuse me a moment... my gawd, this song is sooo good...)...now where was I?...Oh yeah, I don't know when exactly is it going to be, but most probably before I leave for Langkawi on the 1st of Jan. Can't wait (for the party I mean, not going back to school)!! LOL!
Do you think I write crap ever so often?...
I want to go to the fun fair with my brother before I leave. Hope he wants to go again... If he can't, then bring Chris I guess...hmm...
After writing all these, I've decided that I lurvvv Pop Latino. LOL! I'm serious here...LOL! I will be including that in my favorite music. Hehe... Ok, gotta go, my brother's back now! Hehe...
Nothing Important
12.17.06 (6:48 pm) [edit]I'm glad I get through the night without any uncalled for incidents.
I'm so worried that I still haven't receive the documents yet. It's been a week already. I hope the mail arrives today, otherwise I will be grounded for days...
...................
12.17.06 (8:03 am) [edit]Step into my world
Where there's countless things to see
Endless possibilities
Let me take you to a place where ???
See an odyssey of dreams
And the best of fantasies
All this for your eyes only
Ooh, step into my world
~ Jennifer Lopez - Step Into My World ~
"A picture can tell a thousand words" --> Yes, a picture does tell a lot at that particular moment, but it definitely doesn't tell history. For example, a photograph of a person doesn't tell you the personalities of the person, does it... so would you call it ridiculous if you fall for the face in the picture before even meeting the person??
prey -> seduce -> leave. Is this the characteristics of a black widow? Hmm...just couldn't resist it.
I'm Bored...
12.17.06 (3:42 am) [edit]My brother and I have this crazy idea...to have a tattoo of each other on the left of our shoulder-blade. LOL! Dunno whether it will materialise or not.
There's a week left till Christmas. Can't wait! But on Christmas evening, I have to fly to KL for the briefing the next day... (sigh) What a dread...this isn't the only time that M decides to 'conveniently' condu ct a meeting right after Christmas. The last time, we had to go back to school the day after Christmas. That certainly didn't give us much time to spend with our family for Christmas.
I'm so bored right now, dunno what to do... Tonight it's just me in the house...eek...creepy... I could have stayed over at my grandparents' place but I can't cos I have to wait for the stupid contract from M. They've sent it long time ago, yet I still haven't gotten it yet. What's wrong?... Hmm...maybe I should just watch CSI tonight. Dunno whether it'll leave gruesome images in my head later...but right now, I would just do about ANYTHING to kill time. (sigh)
Nothing Personal
12.16.06 (9:27 am) [edit]My brother came back! 
But he'll be gone again tomorrow evening till Monday or Tuesday. I really MISS him!! Wait a minute, I should've tell him this instead of writing this down...ok, told him already. Hehe...
A dear friend of mine called...it's been a long time since we last talked, hmm... 6 months perhaps? Whoa! Come to think of it, 6 months passed by really fast! I've got so many things to tell her, but I couldn't tell her over the phone. I hope she would be prepared for what I have to tell her later... Time's change, circumstances change and people change...
My driving instructor came this afternoon to pass me my result slip. Before that, he called asking me to wait for him outside. My first thought, 'What for? I could just go outside when I hear his car. I don't have to wait for him outside...' When he came and explained to me how to fill in the form, he invited me to have lunch with him. I was like, 'Huh? What's this? Is this to celebrate since I passed my driving test? Or is there an agenda behind his invitation?' My conscience was disturbed by this, so I declined politely, which of course involved lying, 'Oh, sorry uncle, I've already eaten...' I don't whether I was paranoid or what, but when I told my parents later, they were also suspicious. LOL! Which reminds me, my dad don't exactly like my driving instructor because of a certain incident that occured long time ago. It was like this: My driving instructor sent me home one time, and my dad happened to arrive at the same time. So my instructor greeted my dad and addressed him as 'uncle' which was weird since the age difference wasn't that much. So my dad thought that my instructor has feelings for me or something. Since then, my dad never leave the matter at rest. He also thought that I'm in love with him. My gawd! LOL! Anyways, now that I passed my driving test, I won't have to see him again. Phew for my dad. LOL!
This is not the only case...it happens with all the guys I come in contact with. To them, every guy is a potential lover. LOL! Who's paranoid here? Hehe... I understand why they feel that way since I'm their only daughter. I can take care of myself and I can carry myself well in public, so I'm not worried.
Eh, where the rain goes? It was raining few minutes ago... Anyways, it's already 1.30am and I have to sleep now. Wake up early tomorrow. Nite-nite...
Straight From My Heart
12.15.06 (4:01 pm) [edit]Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
~ Avril Lavigne = Keep Holding On ~
A dedication to my dear mother: Next year, I would be leaving home for a very long time, and lots of things will happen when I'm not around; good things and also bad things. Life is getting more and more complicated, so I'm not surprise that this coming year would be tougher than this year...but whatever happens, one thing remains: my eternal love for you. I hope you would continue to stay as strong as you are now or stronger because I'm afraid I couldn't protect you as much as before...
A dedication to my beloved brother: My only brother, my best friend... I love you for who you are with my whole heart and soul. I won't be physically around for you anymore, but I know you could take care of yourself. My responsibility I've shifted to you and I know you would fulfill it no matter what. I promise I will always watch your back wherever I am. And I would always be there for you when in times of crisis...
It's very difficult for me to let you guys go, because I have to be sure that you guys could go on with me so far away...
A dedication to Al: This coming year would be a challenging year for us (I'm sure you know what it is...)...but I'm glad we won't have to face it alone. I sincerely hope nothing comes between us.
A dedication to someone: Listening to this song, reminds me of you. But instead of holding on, I'm letting go and moving on. It's a waste of time dwelling in this matter, I'm DONE. And it certainly taught me lots of things. It would never happen again.
What Happened Yesterday
12.14.06 (4:54 pm) [edit]My intuition was right again... (I'm not going to mention what is it) ...
(sigh) I miss my brother very much, he's been away for so long. I hope I get to see him tomorrow.
Nothing happened yesterday, except I bought my first Cleo magazine (actually it's my mum who paid. Hehe..). I didn't expect her to allow me to read that kind of magazines. She asked, "Why you need this magazine?" I came up with a lame answer, "Well, to help me understand more about females..." Haha...it was meant to be a joke, so when she allowed me to get the mag, I was incredibly surprised. Plus, my mag was cheaper than hers. Only RM7.90. Hers was like RM10.50 for one (she bought two. And her magazines were on houses). Hehe...so I guess that's why she didn't complain.
My mum and I 'kidnapped' dad yesterday for a drink. LOL! Actually, he was the one who sneaked out.
Ok, what other 'boring' stuff happened yesterday...hmm...I practically spent the whole night reading the magazine. Oh yeah, and watched Golden Girls. It's an old series. Kinda remind me of Desperate Housewives, just that the ladies in Golden Girls are ladies from the golden age. I really love the show, not only it's comedic, it's also quite informative. I mean, watching that show makes me realize the fears and insecurities experienced by women as they hit 50! I still haven't finished watching the whole series.
Ok, I think that's all for now. Don't know what else to write. Well, for those who're reading this post, TAKE CARE!
Canta Per Me
12.13.06 (4:32 am) [edit]Sometimes, I'm very afraid of what I would become... Sometimes people say you're like this, you're never going to be like that...I desperately want to believe it, desperately...just to give me a piece of mind. Alas! Only you yourself know what you would become...
"We fear not because we're inadequate, we fear because we're powerful beyond measure..."
I think the extent of how powerful I can be scares me... And if I'm already taking the risk, I know I would love it and won't turn back. It's just the adrenaline, the surge of power that runs through your whole body...
..................
12.12.06 (11:03 pm) [edit]Sometimes, I have this urge...but I know I shouldn't do it; I should just forget it. It's never going to happen anyways...
I Pass!
12.12.06 (8:25 pm) [edit]For those who know I sat for my driving test, well... GREAT NEWS!! I PASSED!! LOL! I will only be able to make my driving license tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Can't wait! Hehe...
NO
12.11.06 (8:19 am) [edit]Damn!! Why is it so difficult to understand this word:
NO
If I said 'NO' means 'NO'. It's not a negotiation. It's a decisive answer!!! Which part of 'NO' don't you understand?! Damn! Some people just don't get it!
My Reunion
12.11.06 (8:06 am) [edit]I just came back from a reunion with my old friends. Man, we've not seen each other for 4 years!! It was totally fun hanging out with them again. I was the only non-Chinese there...didn't feel left out though, since I could speak Mandarin. I'm glad I still remember all of them - Samuel, Jiaw Chee, Hui Lin, Hui Chin, Wan Chen, Siaw Chien and Ung Siang. Hmm...I'm impressed...hehe... Being with them was totally different as compared to being with the yahs. Omigod! With the yahs, it's just gossip, gossip, gossip and back-stabbing. When I was with my old friends, it wasn't a culture shock that I experienced but it was more to amazement; amazed at the fact that for the last 2 years, I was surrounded by yahs and now I'm with the nons. LOL! Which reminds me, next year's culture shock will be different since I will be surrounded by people from all over the world, as opposed to just one dominant race. Hmm...I wonder when I would be flying to Auckland...my friends are hoping to invite me over for Chinese New Year. Argh, don't make me miss that!! More of my friends would be around... Speaking of the devil, haha, a message from one of them. Ok, she just wanna know whether I arrived home safely... Yes, GREAT! There will be another gathering on the 20th! I'm sooo looking forward to it! Hehehe...when my holiday is about to end, it just starts to become interesting. Hmm...
Getting so caught up with the excitement of meeting them, I forgot that I'm going to have my driving test tomorrow. DANG! Urgh, I hope I'm not trippin' tomorrow.
A Trip To The Vet
12.10.06 (6:57 pm) [edit]My dog was knocked down by a car last night. Luckily, she's not badly injured. Just a minor cut. My mum and I brought her to the vet cos she coiuldn't eat this morning and couldn't walk too. So we were very worried for her, plus she's pregnant... The doctor cleaned her wound and treat her other wound, which she got 2 days ago, apparently she grazed herself when she lied down or something. So the doctor had to cut some of her hair cos the pus sorta matted her hair... The doctor asked me to apply powder everyday on that wound. She also said that she's not sure of the puppies' condition following the knock, we'll just have to wait when my dog gives birth... I really hope all the puppies survive...
My brother came back 2 days ago...and this morning he's gone again. (Silently crying inside) I'm not going to see him for 2 whole weeks!! Man, just when this is my last month, he has to be gone!
Interesting conversation
12.10.06 (9:44 am) [edit]It's now 1.34am, Monday morning, and I'm still wide awake! Man, how could I sleep when I had many interesting conversations in one night?
I particularly like talking to this one person. We talked about cars (what type of car we want / dream to have), disneyland, then move to disney characters (it's very interesting to know that there are other people who still love disney cartoons, besides me and elin. Hehe...), then introduced me to a playstation game called "Kingdom Hearts" (which I know I will soon get hooked. Hehe...)... Bottom line, the most interesting person to talk to, basically defying the norms of what a regular guy would normally talk about. If the person I'm talking about happens to read this post, I think you're totally cool! Should've said this to you earlier. It's totally refreshing to get to talk about other stuff...so, KEEP IT REAL dude! =)
Long Way To Go
12.08.06 (4:05 am) [edit]You claim that you're so hot and you say you got skills in the bedroom
You try to flirt when you're so not
Had a chance you still never come through
You say you wanna come see me
Cuz' you know you're girlfriend wanna be me
I'ma tell you why you can't
Said you gotta long way 2 go
~ Cassie - Long Way To Go ~
Some people just sickened me. They thought it's very easy, but it's not.
Mundane Boring Stuff
12.07.06 (6:12 pm) [edit]Oh man...my brother has just left for somewhere else for days, and I've already miss him so much! Now it's just me and this empty house ~ eerily quiet empty house...ok, now I'm creeping myself out! So many things happened last night! My best friend just made an msn account, and we chatted and chatted for hours...I wonder how her talk with her parents went?...hmm... Besides that, my old friend contacted me, I was pleasantly surprised to hear from her. It's been 4 years since we last saw each other. Certainly miss my old friends... Well, at least I could meet them during the gathering, thinking about it makes me so nervous and excited!! *sigh* Now thinking about my old friends make me think about my best friends...they're so far away... 
If only I could turn back time; go back to the moments when we were together... *sigh* I guess life goes on...and we have to move on... *sigh* ok, if I keep on sighing, I would start crying. Change of topic. ~ Anyways, what else happened last night?...oh yeah...I've got 2 phone calls from 2 total strangers...hehe, not going to say much here...sorry...hehe...
This afternoon will be a busy afternoon for me - collect my medical report, collect the computer, driving lessons...that's about it. Maybe will try to go online again tonight. I hope Al could go online...it's much cheaper to chat online than via short messages... Hmm...I wonder if Elin has an msn account...
Boring Post
12.06.06 (9:37 pm) [edit]I'm bored to DEATH now... Some sad song in my ears, urgh! Dunno what's with me and sad songs...
Anyways, I will only get my medical checkup results tomorrow...kinda nervous...cos my friends can either get their results on the same day or the next day...but mine takes 3 days! I hope they don't find anything in my blood...some unknown disease that I'm afraid to know... At last I managed to reach the guy this morning, been trying the whole of yesterday. Luckily I don't have to be at the briefing today, I could just post the documents; let them do everything for me. Hehe...
*sigh* Life is so complicated and confusing...at least that's how I feel. There's no sure thing and no definite answer. Hmm...now a different music's playing in my ears...ah, much better...hehe... Ok, anyways, I was talking about life...guess why life's complicated?...the answer is plain and simple: HUMANS ARE COMPLICATED.
...if my instructor does not call me yet, I'm going to talk more crap! Anyways, Christmas is just around the corner and I'm so excited about it.
Fate?
12.06.06 (6:45 pm) [edit]How do you react when someone really likes you, adores you, loves you, falls for you, willing to do anything for you even if that person doesn’t have the means…, but the problem is you don’t feel the way that s/he feels?... Are you going to give that person a chance or are you going to tell him/her straight out that you’re not interested in him/her? Cos who knows, love could grow right? ... Sometimes you wonder whether you’re actually leading him/her on… Sometimes you don’t even know why you are even doing this… Maybe it’s some external power or some fate that binds and locks two strangers together for some unknown future plan… I’m a total disbeliever of the fate concept; I believe it’s the choices and the decisions we made which bring us to where we are now… But there are many incidents which happened to me personally and which I can’t deny…that maybe, just maybe God has a plan for each of us…
But one thing I do believe: there’s a REASON in why we meet some people.
Case Study 1:
I always think the way I met Al and Elin is special. Before we even meet, Al already had a dream of the 3 of us. Freaky? Or is it fate? For me, I think they were a blessing, especially in the yah environment we were in. So it’s a wonder why the whole Seremban community kinda freaked seeing the 3 of us going everywhere together. We used to joke about being a blob or an amoeba, an unbreakable substance. They were my classmates, my roommates, my eating buddies, my shopping buddies, my laughing buddies, my crying buddies, my sleeping buddies, my watching TV buddies…and MOST importantly, my BEST FRIENDS… Not enough we’re together 24-7, we just have to be in each other’s dreams too. Hehe… Frankly, I never felt so emotionally attached to any of my friends like I am to them…so my friendship with them is very special. Because of them, I get to experience how to build and maintain a friendship, to accept them as who they are…of course our time together is not all that perfect, sometimes we do have our doubts concerning our loyalty to each other, which is normal in the beginning of a lasting friendship…and sometimes we do get on each other’s nerves, which is normal too as we’re trying to adapt to each other’s weird behavior… All the same, I still love them with all my heart. =)
Case Study 2:
I have a SERIOUS crush on this guy; couldn’t eat for 3 days is DEAD SERIOUS (I thought I was bulimic at first). LOL! Only few people know about this. Anyways, getting to know him was a great experience. I mean, I’ve experienced how to fall in love, how to feel cheated and how to have your heart broken, how to get over your crush - all in one month! LOL! I once told my brother these feelings have given a whole new meaning to love songs or sad songs… I mean, now you can sing it with meaning; not just for the sake of singing.
And if it’s alright I’ll stay until it’s late until
you tell that it’s time that we moved on
and if it takes all night I’ll wait here to the
daylight so i can see that we just don’t belong
It’s alright we were wrong
So, getting to know him has taught me trust and responsibility towards another person’s heart. Love is never an easy thing; to love someone also involves getting hurt… I hope these would equip me for any relationships to come. =)
...............
12.04.06 (11:06 pm) [edit]Ok, I just did my medical checkup. Would be a lot easier and faster if only I have a car! But I'm still impressed I could settle it in half day. Change of plans: NOT going to KL. Reason: Waste of money. I'll go in the next one. No driving lessons today, maybe because I displayed excellent driving skills in yesterday. Hehehehe...
No Control
12.03.06 (8:32 pm) [edit]It's now raining very heavily outside... I wonder whether I will still have my driving lessons in this kind of weather...
I just watched a movie just now, quite gross with all the blood splattering everywhere and how the characters die so gruesomely...just creeps me out. Plus, I was watching it alone... After the movie it just hit me why am I so afraid of intimacies...cos it's "the fear of having no sense of control..." over your body, your emotions, your mind... So doing it with the right guy matters; in my opinion, the guy needs to have some sense of responsibility for what is to come before, during and after the intimate moments... He cannot just become some "innocent bystander," leaving the girl to handle maybe unwanted pregnancies (even with condoms, it's NOT 100% GUARANTEED!), sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS...etc. That's why we have lots of young single mothers around... LOVE alone does not sustain a marriage cos LOVE CAN BE BROKEN. Even in a good family, there's still adultery. So, LOVE + TRUST + LOYALTY ... are the keys to a happy and long-lasting marriage. Because of the rising number of cheating mates nowadays, most people do not believe in matrimony anymore, they prefer to just live-in or no strings attached sort of relationship...
So yeah, that's why I'm afraid of intimacies... I have no control over how the guy thinks or feels about me, no control over whether he would stay...but most importantly, I will have NO CONTROL over myself!...having to break down my defences, exposing my vulnerability... Believe me, I know how it's like to be hurt or feel cheated.
Baby Come Back
12.03.06 (4:52 pm) [edit]Baby Come Back
Everyday I try to play another game
But my heart can't take it
I try to find another boy
But all the while I can't face it
Baby come back
Why do I miss you so much?
I wanna stop to turn inside
oh baby please
give us one more try
Baby come back
I see you out with all your friends
Laughing it up as you pretend
to have a good time, I know cause I'm living the same life
I'm about to got to say
we can't keep living this same way
so I'll be the one
yeah I'll say it I'll say it I'll say it I'll say it again
Baby come back
Baby come back to me
in my heart I still believe
we were meant to be
together so whatever it takes
Baby come back
Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
love maybe
come back
Baby come back
I wanna call, but then I stall
cause after all, I just couldn't take it
cause if your play was to push me away
you know the day, my heart you'd break it
Baby come back
I know we made a mistake
it's just like your foolish pride
Come back to me
Let us try, let us try, let us try again
Baby come back
Baby come back to me
in my heart I still believe
we were meant to be
together so whatever it takes
Baby come back
Baby come back to me
i should've never set you free
love maybe
come back
Baby come back
You know you miss your Baby V
And I can see that you think about me
so why do you act like you don't care
like all this love between us isn't there
I know that you're upset
I know I did you wrong
I know that you want me to pay for all the pain i've caused
but in the end it all comes down to just one thing
it's you and me
so I sing
Baby come back
Baby come back to me
in my heart I still believe
we were meant to be
together so whatever it takes
Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
love maybe
come back
Baby come back
~ Vannessa Anne Hudgens - Baby Come Back ~
This song is dedicated to someone I know... I love Vanessa, spotted her in High School Musical and I think she has the potential of becoming a big star in the near future. =)
A Friend...
12.02.06 (5:25 pm) [edit]A Friend...
is a tissue when you can't stop crying
A Friend...
is a shoulder when you feel like dying
A Friend...
always listens when you have
something to say
A Friend...
is a week when you need a day
A Friend...
is a crutch when you have a brokenheart
A Friend...
is some glue when everything falls apart
A Friend...
is a sun when the rain just won't stop
A Friend...
is your mom when you run into a cop
A Friend...
is a phone call when you can't leave
your home
A Friend...
is a hand when you feel all alone
A Friend...
is a wing if you want to fly
A Friend...
understands without knowing why
A Friend...
is an ear for a secret to tell
A Friend...
is an aspirin when your head hurts like
hell
A Friend...
is a love that can never let go
A Friend... is you,
and i wanted you to know!!
Personalities Judged
12.02.06 (9:44 am) [edit]Does your name begin with: A
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.
OCTOBER
Loves to chat
Loves those who loves him/her
Loves to takes things at the centre
Attractive and suave
Inner and physical beauty
Does not lie or pretend
Sympathetic
Treats friends importantly
Always making friends
Easily hurt but recovers easily
Bad tempered
Selfish
Seldom helps unless asked
Daydreamer
Very opinionated
Does not care of what ot hers think
Emotional
Decisive
Strong clairvoyance
Loves to travel, the arts and literature
Soft-spoken, loving and caring
Romantic
Touchy and easily jealous
Concerned
Loves outdoors
Just and fair
Spendthrift and easily influenced
Easily lose confidence
Libra
Turn ons
Libra needs peace and harmony in all their relationship so help them maintain that. Venus the ruling planet gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.
Turn offs
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence do not start an argument or discussion unless of course you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably in between of discussion they may change their side too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience.
I got this from one of my brother's e-mails, and these seem to describe me. I should say 90% of it is correct. I'm quite sceptical on how our personalities can be judged based on our name or our birth month; it just doesn't make sense. But if any of you are interested, I could send in the reading for you.
My Impending KL Trip
12.01.06 (5:41 pm) [edit]Today is Saturday. I actually have lots of things to do today, but I'm still on the computer. My mum would 'kill' me if I don't do what she told me to do. Hehe...
Anyways, just a quick word: I'm going to KL this coming Thursday (7 Dec). Some sort of meeting to attend. I still don't know when I want to leave for KL...if I leave on Wed evening, I would arrive at night and I have to find a place to stay...I was thinking my best friend's place, but I still haven't break to her the news about Al and I going there. She would be ecstatic! Hehe...can't wait to see her face... Speaking about KL trip, I've got lots of documents to prepare... *sigh* I don't know why they have to tell us so last minute. I'm not sure how soon can the documents be processed. But I hope it would be done on time. This is not the only trip to KL, I'm expecting another one towards the end of this month...I hope it doesn't fall on Christmas week. After that, to Langkawi on 1 Jan. Damn! So much money spent on flights. I hope my mom doesn't make so much noise...haha...who am I kidding? I still haven't tell them about the KL trip though... Soooooooo EXCITED about going KL...